Whether you’ve never been married or a divorcee, a single parent or a widower - online dating is all about strategy, where crafting the perfect profile is only the beginning...
Online dating can suck. And it can be hard work too. It's not unlike juggling a second full time job.
“...If there is no risk, there is no reward.”
Having coached singles aged in their 40s and 50s, I know from experience how hard (and rewarding!) online dating can be. And that there is a right way and a wrong way when it comes to the strategies of online dating. What is clear to me is that people in their midlife have embraced online dating in their thousands. It makes sense. The pubs and clubs have less appeal and with a busy work life and family commitments, there is less opportunity for the over-40s to meet someone in their day to day life. It’s no wonder online dating is so popular.
Also, the stigma associated with finding love online is well and truly gone. It’s now a normal avenue for seeking new relationships. In one study of 25,000 couples it was found that 37% of people in the 60+ age group found their partner online, compared with 19% in the 20-29 year old age group. Which confirms that older daters are ruling the online roost!
I was recently a guest speaker on ABC radio in Brisbane where I outlined my successful strategies for midlife singles dating online. You can listen to the podcast here >>
For those taking the plunge and embarking on an online journey to potential love in midlife, here are some essential tips for improving your chances of success.
(1) A WELL WRITTEN PROFILE IS CRITICAL
You wouldn’t attend an important job interview with a second-rate resume would you? Many people underestimate the importance of a well-written profile, free from spelling and grammatical errors and cheesy clichés. Your profile must encapsulate YOU - Your main interests, your sense of humour and your values. It must be read like the back cover of a good book and leave your match wanting to know more. Do this and you’ll attract the right type of attention from like-minded singles.
(2) A PICTURE TELLS A THOUSAND WORDS
Without being superficial, your profile picture is the best first impression you give online. Yes, you’ll be judged on how you look in the photo, but rather than feel gloomy about this fact, you just need to OWN IT! No matter what your shape or size, a clear flattering photo with a great outfit showing you at your confident best is a sure fire way to attract promising interest. As I’m fond of saying: you never get a second chance to make a good first impression!
(3) BE PREPARED FOR AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER
Just like applying for that important job, you’ll inevitably face rejection online at some point. The key thing to remember is that it’s a two-way street. You may find yourself the subject of unwanted attention from the players, the riffraff or the scammers online. You may feel a little discouraged about the type people who are contacting you, but take heart in the fact that rather than having to deal with them face to face, you have the glorious option of pressing ‘delete’!
(4) NEVER COMPROMISE
By your 40's and beyond, you know yourself well. You have fully formed values and views that should never be compromised. If having kids is part of your life plan and not theirs, move on. Likewise non-smoker seeking same. Like-minded singles will recognise this from your well-written profile and seek you out. Have a think about what you do and don’t want from a relationship. While there is a healthy amount of 40 pluses online looking for love, the sea isn’t necessarily brimming with fish. Don’t exclude people for things such as height or hair colour or whether they live within 10 kilometres of your house. Sharing the same values or sense of humour is much more important than finding a 42 year old lawyer who speaks fluent Mandarin and plays polo.
HOW eDateMate HELPS 40+ SINGLES
eDateMate tailors your dating profile to reflect your life stage and expectations. There is a beautiful complexity to life in mid-age – there may be kids to consider, ‘baggage' from previous relationships and busy lifestyles juggling career and family. You may even be adjusting to the new "dating rituals" if you’ve been away from the scene for many years, or even decades.
We are aware that with each decade brings unique differences that need to be considered. Some Baby Boomers are less tech-savvy than younger generations and are therefore more vulnerable to scammers who prey on people who are more financially secure and trusting of strangers. Our sure-fire system of ‘red flagging’ suspicious contacts gives peace of mind to midlife daters and will give you the confidence to navigate safely and successfully through the process.
eDateMate will help you in your quest, from writing your profile, filtering for your match, flirting successfully in messages and meeting in person, every step of the way should not be underestimated in this game of love.
 Sue Malta, Sociologist, Swinburne University, theconversation.com video: ‘why older adults love online dating’